All In A Lifetime Learning to Love
by Fearful.minds-Fearless.hearts
Summary: I wrote this and had it uploaded to Fanfiction a few years ago but recently I've been editing most things that I've written. Although I have to admit not much work has been done I've managed to slowly work through the first few chapters and this is what I'm uploading now. This is a story about young love and finding yourself. A better summary will be provided inside. Copyrighted.
1. Summary

**Summary: **

Sarah Jenkins... teenager living in Ireland with dreams bigger than her imaginitation and a heart filled with more hurt than a girl her age should ever have experienced. Through this novel she learns to love for the first time, learns to deal with grief and learns what a true friend really is…

**Note from Author:**

I've never been very good at blurbs. In fact when people ask me to describe my novels I'm usually horrible at doing so but I can promise you they're worth the read… or so I've been told. Please enjoy and give me feed back! Would love to hear any sort of criticism!  
Katie


	2. Chapter 1

_**Chapter One**_

My alarm clock buzzed and it was then that my eyes decided to grow tired. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, actually I don't think I managed to get any, but the minute that alarm clock went I didn't want to leave the bed; finally I felt that maybe I could sleep. My eyes flew open the second I closed them; the haunting images that had kept me awake were lying in wait the second my lids were closed. They were what had kept me awake the whole night. The darkness. The scream. Nothingness.

I wasn't exactly thrilled at being back at school between the whispers and stares, and the early mornings I wasn't quite sure which would be worse. The knock on my bedroom door jolted me back to the years before when my mum would wake me before school; this time though it was my father.

"Sarah… Are you up?"  
I sighed and kicked the duvet to the bottom of the bed, "Yeah, I'm up." I lay for only another moment before pulling myself out of bed and into the en-suite bathroom that was attached to my room. I wasn't kind to myself as I looked into the mirror, the matted brunette hair was disheveled and the purple bags under my eyes seemed ghastly; deciding that a shower could possibly help the hair I changed and began to ready myself for the day ahead.

I made it in time for breakfast, banana pancakes, an effort on my dad's part to make this day easier for all of us and I was grateful for that. As always though, I wasn't ready on time to make it for the bus at half eight but I had thought ahead and planned for Jennie to give me a lift in.

Jennie Williams had been my best friend since playgroup; I had arrived late and everyone had already made friends so I stood near the edge of the room desperate to go home already, and then Jennie appeared. Even at a young age she was bright, bubbly and very, very outgoing; as we grew older though, her outgoing personality began to seem intimidating to new-comers and at those times it was up to me to step in and explain.

It was half eight when I opened the kitchen door, the smell hit me like a wave and I loved it, a smile almost played at my lips. My hair was still wet, drying naturally, make-up wasn't present yet either and as for clothes, the only things I wore were the shorts and t-shirt I had worn to bed.

"Please don't tell me you're going to school like that!" My dad teased, turning from the cooker to great me.

"Oh ha ha." I began sarcastically before stopping anything more to come out, I was in a mood which could turn happy and for the first time in a while I didn't want to spoil that. "Smells good… banana pancakes?" I hinted with a slight smile, leaning over from the breakfast bar to see in to the pan.

"Is that, 'Dad can I have some of your most amazing pancakes in the whole entire world?'" I laughed at his response, the only thing he could ever make were those pancakes… that was before.

"Yes, it does… So, dad can I have some of those amazing pancakes?"

He shook his head slightly, also with a smile present upon his face, as he handed me a plate. I ate quickly, realizing that I was running out of time seeing that Jennie was supposed to arrive at quarter to. I looked to the side window as I was finishing up, and there I found the black Toyota Celica, the door opened and I bolted out of the room, shouting out of the room as I moved.

"Thanks dad, that was great."

The car belonged to James Madison, a friend of my brother's; they had met at soccer try-outs during the summer and I had never been so hung up over a guy in my entire life; yet every time I saw those emerald eyes, I felt that I had met him before that first day he turned up at my house. He was tall with the darkest shade of brunette hair I had ever seen and he was a gentleman, any time I entered a room he would offer his seat, he would hold a door open for every person in the corridor and he would always put others before himself. Which was exactly why I didn't want him to see me looking as I did. I may as well have just pulled myself straight out of bed.

I sighed as I closed the bedroom door behind me, curling my toes into the carpet beneath my feet, "This morning of all mornings, he appears." I said quietly to myself as I walked to the wardrobe ready to pick out the baggy jeans, converse and hoodie that I really wanted to wear but the shopping bags stood out like a sore thumb.

Jennie had dragged me out shopping a few days before, bought me an outfit, and made me swear to wear it; I hadn't planned to but one look at the bag and I felt guilty for almost breaking the promise. The old me wouldn't have even worn what Jennie had picked out for me, but as I studied myself in the mirror I began to realize that it actually looked good. The off-white pussybow blouse had long sleeves but it was still light to cope with the warm September air, the dark skinny jeans hugged my every curve and the gladiator wedges felt so comfortable.

Usually it was copulas for us to wear uniform to school; for girls a red and black checkered-pleated skirt, off-white blouses and a black blazer. It wasn't too horrible, the school in the next town over definitely had it a lot worse; and our school wasn't particularly strict, there were rules and generally most people didn't break them too often. On this day though, our year group were allowed to wear our own clothes as it was only us in school and only for half a day; we were in our second last year so this was our introduction day into AS-Levels.

Finally my make-up was on and my hair was in loose, natural waves and just as I was about to turn away from the image in front of me Jennie appeared, waltzing into the room without knocking as was typical of her.

"Are you rea… Jesus Christ; now see, why didn't you just let me dress you earlier? You look gorgeous, as I knew you would." Jennie smiled obviously proud of herself. "Now to something probably a little more important, why didn't you tell me James was coming around this morning? I may have made more of an effort."

A small smile passed my lips, "No you wouldn't have. And the more important thing is that it's ten to nine and we need to get to school." I told my friend, eyeing her straight, fair hair that I envied so much when we were children; she always had it perfect and today was no exception.

"Ooo, I can't wait! Let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!" Jennie repeated in her excited frenzy; she had always loved school and no matter how many times she tried to explain it, I just couldn't fathom her excitement. All I could ever understand was the need to see our friends again after a long weekend, but to actually get excited to do work… it didn't make any sense what-so-ever.

I half-laughed and grabbed my canvas bag from the window seat, "Okay, okay. I'm ready now!" I left the room without a jacket; there was no need for one yet, we were having our summer weather for once – usually there was a little sun or heat at the end of May and early September and that was it for the North of Ireland.

I ran down the stairs, watching my feet as I moved and only looked up on the last step, almost bumping straight into James; I side-stepped him though at the last moment and caught the heart-melting smile he gave me just as I was entering the kitchen, leaving me with a silly grin as I took the lunch money from my father before I left.

"Bye dad." I called as I left through the back kitchen door.

Jennie and I talked as we walked to the car just after my brother, which resulted in James and Dean trying to reverse out of the drive before we had even gotten into Jennie's car, which was parked behind James' truck.

"Jennie move your f-ing car!" Dean shouted out of the truck window, he was never one for patience.

"Yano I'm just gonna move slower now." Jennie taunted, mimicking slow movements.

I hit her arm lightly and smiled, "Don't antagonize him. Come on we need to go anyway."

"Where's your brother going anyway?" Jennie asked nosily as she pulled out of the drive.

"He and James have gaelic practise up at the school today."

"Ew… the day before the Upper Sixths start back and he has to go in for sport!" Jennie pulled a face, obviously not understand this notion but didn't say anything more on the topic.

I didn't have much else to say on our short journey and Jennie kept up most of the conversation until she began talking of the school year;

"I really hope this year is better than all the rest."

"What do you mean?" I wasn't sure what her comment was in relation to, it could have been anything.

"Sarah we're seventeen and have never had boyfriends…The best I've done is 'see' a guy for a couple of weeks! And I don't even fully understand what that means! Whenever we go out we make-out, we text, maybe we meet up… but we're not officially boyfriend and girlfriend! It doesn't make sense! And don't even get me started on you!" I let Jennie rant, ignoring her comments on me.

"It's never really bothered me too much." I put in allowing her to shoot me a glare before she continued.

"Well that's no doubt obvious; I think you've kissed about a total of 10 guys over the space of 4years…." She paused, waiting to see if I would retaliate. When it was obvious I wouldn't she rolled her eyes and continued, "What I mean is I just want to progress in the boys department, and I don't want there to be any fights within our group, and if there have to be any then they should only be minor. I want to do better in class work and I want to make more friends."

"That's ambitious." I mumbled to the window, but Jennie ignored me spinning the topic randomly as she did.

"Sit beside me in all of our classes?"

"I don't know."

"Excuse me? We've been sitting beside each other since first grade!"

"I know but you want to do well this year." I faced her with a smile before continuing. "No, what I actually mean is that I think we learnt our lesson last year. Think about it, in every class we would get shouted at for talking; I had decided on an unbreakable theory by January last school year. _'If you sit beside your best friend then you'll talk throughout that whole class for the entire year, or what if you fall out with them? You'll still have to sit beside them, and that would be so awkward; not that I plan on falling out with you._'" I added quickly before she could protest, "But we don't exactly know when we are going to have our differences."

"Okay, I think I understand. What's the rest of this 'theory'?"

"Well you don't want to sit beside a nerd because then people will think that you're geeky smart too, but at the same time you don't want to sit beside a less intelligent person because they will more than likely copy your work." Jennie looked at me as if she had decided that I needed to get out more, "I was bored in Mrs. Morrington's class last year!"

"Okay okay. Although it's a little paranoid, I see where you're coming from. I bagsy Lila!" Jennie shouted raising one hand whilst keeping the other steady on the steering wheel of her old mini.

I laughed at her as we pulled into the school car park, "Fine by me she has a hot temper! I bags Violet!" I stuck my tongue out childishly and smiled, taking my bag from the floor and opening the car door.

Lila and Violet were girls within our group of friends, they weren't tight with either of us like Jennie and I were with each out but they were still good friends. Although neither were stupid, they weren't genius' either on the contrary Violet was always very ditsy, smart but not altogether there; as for Lila she could get so absorbed in her artwork that she would completely forget you were there. They were good friends but we weren't close enough at that stage to get distracted from our work; the group had only formed in May the school year before and so we were all just getting to grips with the dynamics of it all.

We arrived to our homeroom at nine o'clock and all I could do was thank God that the teacher hadn't arrived yet. Jennie and I bee-lined for the table Violet and Lila had saved for us and sat down to claim it before talking to the both of them about the seating arrangement, they had no problems and just as Miss Saunders walked in Violet was moving into the seat next to me, and Jennie into the one behind that Violet had previously occupied.

I had learnt over the years that the most hectic days of school were the first and the last days; everyone discusses each others summers and tries to catch-up on the latest gossip like who's dating who and what the biggest scandal was during the summer. Even as the teacher tries to call attention it doesn't work, the pupils simply continue to talk, as Violet and I were doing. We were discussing the rumour that Katy Johnston was pregnant, however I knew that that wasn't the biggest event of the summer as I could feel almost every set of eyes in the room on me.

"Shut up!" Miss Saunders screamed at the class. The room silenced immediately, especially when the class noticed the engagement ring on our teacher's finger; the year before she had been the timid student teacher, and here she was strong, engaged and in a way, almost scary. "Olivia, would you come up here please." Miss Saunders' voice was a lot gentler this time as she spoke to a girl at the front of the classroom.

She was small, pale and skinny. Her long mousy hair was in a ponytail and she wore no make-up around her large, brown eyes. She didn't stand out much and nobody was paying her any attention, but she moved forward anyway, shaking with nervousness.

"Go on dear, tell them something about yourself." Miss Saunders pushed sweetly.

"Um…" she stammered, looking around the pupils who were now watching her intently, seeming as if they were ready to laugh at the first wrong thing she spoke. "Well my name is Olivia; I'm from the South." Her accent was strong amongst all of the Northern ones in the room but she didn't seem too bothered about standing out for that reason. "My parents recently divorced and my mum decided that she wanted to return here so she could be near her family. Em… we only moved here a couple of weeks ago and…"

"Don't worry that'll do, go and take your seat again." Olivia smiled to Miss Saunders gratefully and I couldn't help but think that she had given up all of the information about herself that people would usually dig for to gossip about.

There was something familiar about her, maybe it was the shape of face or the soft brown of her hair but right then I couldn't figure it out; it wasn't to later in the day that I realized what it was and why she seemed so familiar.

"Alright class as soon as the bell rings you may…" The bell rang then and pupils began scrambling out of their chairs before the teacher had even finished speaking. Miss Saunders didn't give up though, she began desperately shouting over the noise of the classroom to give us the final piece of information, "Don't forget assembly is in the small assembly hall!"

I groaned inwardly at the thought of the packed assembly hall and the stuffy air that made me feel woozy; as if this day wasn't going to be hard enough as it was.

Jennie pulled me back slowly so we could lag behind the rest of the crowd, "Lets walk slowly so we can sit at the back and talk. Mr Phelps annoys me so much; I don't think I could sit for an hour straight just listening to his voice."  
I laughed quietly, "I understand but at the same time I don't want to miss out on any important information."

"Dear god Sarah! Why have you always been such a goodie goodie!"

"Excuse me." That quiet and timid voice from form class sounded from behind us and so I turned to find the new girl Olivia talking to us.

"Hey." I smiled, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" I had to strain at first to hear her but all of a sudden she seemed to suck in a deep breath and build up her courage. "I have no idea where I'm supposed to be going. Do you mind if I tag along?"

"No, no that's fine!" I smiled again, feeling a little pity for this frail-looking girl, "I'm Sarah by the way.

Returning my smile she took my hand, "Olivia."

"And I'm Jennie. So now that introductions are out of the way lets get going!"

Rolling my eyes at Jennie's slight jealousy at my divided attention I leant closer to Olivia, "Don't worry, she'll be fine in a day or two."

…_**.**_

The assembly wasn't as bad as Jennie was making it out to be, I was just grateful that the school was kind enough to only keep us in for half the day and allowed us to wear our own clothes. I pushed the doors open and the sunshine hit me in a gorgeous, warm wave.

"Hmmm…" I sighed peacefully.

"The sun always makes me feel so happy!" Violet glowed as she joined me outside. Everyone else had somehow managed to lag behind and so we found a spot on the grass and lay down.

"Sarah!" I looked up to see Olivia coming towards me.

"Oh gosh! I'm so sorry, I completely forgot to make sure you found your way back okay!" I felt bad, Olivia had been called back by one of the senior teachers and I had been that excited to get outside I forgot to wait on her. "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine," her polite smile didn't waver so I assumed then that she was a pretty genuine person. "I just wanted to say thanks for letting me follow you to the hall this morning."

"Well I was going there anyway." I teased with a laugh; she looked awkward as she stood there obviously waiting for a car to appear, "Hey sit with us for a bit. Violet doesn't mind do you?"

Violet looked up, shading her eyes with her hand to see Olivia's face against the sunlight, "Not at all, I'm happy so long as I get a slight tan for once."

Smiling gratefully, Olivia sat cross-legged beside us, "I'm Olivia by the way."

"Violet." My friend waved slightly with a returning smile.

Earlier Olivia had also been introduced to Carmen and Lila, the other girls in our group but we had run out of time to properly introduce Violet. Carmen doesn't always appear when our group gathers in school; we would often find her in the library studying or reading a book but non-the-less she was one us. If she wasn't about then I don't know how I would have passed my math exam last June or how any of us would have kept our heads straight when we needed to be sensible.

The rest of the girls joined us just as that sleek, black car pulled out of the school car park and towards us, as if about to head down the drive. I could feel myself start to smile and just the thought of him and as Jennie slumped down beside me, she pushed me slightly as if I hadn't already noticed. And then it stopped. That car. The car every girl in our year and the year above knew of stopped next to us.

"Olivia." James called through the open window.

All of us sitting beside the new girl at that moment turned and stared.

"Wait… hold up. You know him?" Jennie asked amazed, as if all of a sudden this girl should be worshipped.

"Yeah, he's my brother." Olivia asked nonchalantly. She got up slowly and grabbed her bag, "Guess I better be going. It was really nice meeting you all." We watched her as she went to the car, pause as James spoke and turn around again, "You're Dean's sister?" I could tell she was speaking to me so I replied with a simple shrug and a nod. "Wow… I never would have guessed." She laughed.

"Thank god, I swear half the time we're not related."

She chuckled slightly and nodded, "I understand. Well James says Dean's away out with Annie… in case your dad asks."

"Sure," I replied with a nod, "thanks Olivia."

She turned back then and as she just sat in the car Jennie called out to her, "Hey Olivia," once the girl had turned to face her she put on her sweetest smile and what she said next surprised me, "do you want to come out with us tonight? We're just going for dinner and shopping." In the 14 years I had known Jennie this was the first time she had invited someone out with us after only knowing them for an hour or so.

"Yeah I'd like that. I really have to go though, so Facebook me or something and I'll give you my number then."

Nobody said anything for a moment as we watched the car drive away down the drive and then Jennie started to giggle. I looked to her questioningly waiting for her to answer,

"I wonder how Olivia feels on the friends hooking up with her siblings issue."

I punched my friend slightly and flopped back down to the grass. At that moment I knew things were going to turn into a huge mess if I didn't get my emotions in check.

…_**.**_

I spent an hour or two at home after school, getting some lunch and myself ready for work two. As for me, I had been helping out at my dad's bookstore since I was twelve. The building was old, from the late 19th to the early 20th century, so the design itself was antique, perfect for a bookshop. The shop had been previously owned by my great grandfather, and was handed down until it finally reached my father.

Everyone had always said to me that John Jenkins, my father, was a good man. Before I would have just nodded along but now I know with all my heart that it was the truth, he treated his customers with more respect than some deserved and he always put his family before anything or anyone else.

However the only thing anybody would ever link between us was our personalities. He was tall with short, curly brown hair, blue eyes and a crooked nose. I, on the other-hand look like my mother; long black hair that falls into natural, loose curls and large gray eyes. I was also slim like her and of average height; to me there was nothing exactly stunning about me, however my friends would argue for hours the exact opposite, they say that if I wasn't the type of girl that I am then I would be one of the 'popular ones' for sure.

My youngest brother's personality matches my father's and mine; he loves to read but on top of that he's a complete nerd, one of the chess club, debating club and science club. My mother was apparently a lot like Simon at his age, which made me wonder as I watched Dean in the study-hall, where he came from. He hated reading, he was arrogant and rude, and altogether simply annoyed me. It wasn't long to I came to the conclusion that he was a typical boy, and older brother.

As per usual I was running late though so as I sprinted down the stairs I pulled on my coat; the hallway was empty and so was the kitchen but I knew that the house wasn't as empty as it appeared. Taking a few notes lying on the counter-top, I shouted goodbye and left through the back door into the cooling September air. It was getting chilly outside and as I crossed the road to the small path that leads to the beach, I realized that by the time I met up with Jennie it would be a lot colder; suddenly I was more grateful for the coat.

The beach travels from a little before my house to a little past the school, from one side of town to the other; throughout my life I used the beach as a direct route into town. The little path opposite my house opens out to raw beach, usually untouched by tourists and locals; occasionally I would find peace by simply sitting amongst the sand dunes, however if I carry along the beach I eventually reach the main entrance with a juice bar - owned by an Asian couple whom have the bar open rain, snow or shine - and life guard post. That evening, like every other, I noticed yet again the difference between the open beach near my home and the commercialized one, it made me sad to think that one day the whole beach would be used for the tourist attraction; one day the natural beauty would be lost.

…_**.**_

To my surprise I ended up arriving ten minutes too early for my shift; I had managed to convince myself on the beach that I was running extremely late and began to walk faster, too fast apparently. I let the girl before me go home early, ensuring her that she would still get paid full-time; after she left there was no one for a while and so I silenced the quiet with music from my favourite radio station. There was something about silence that got to me, as if it was deafening; in those last few weeks of the summer I couldn't sit in silence, I needed sounds to keep me going, to keep me moving.

In an hour that passed I had managed to dust all of the bookshelves, countertops and brush the floor, it wasn't like I had a lot to do anyway but after a while I was beginning to get a little fed up of just sitting around. Finally the phone rang and I leapt for it, praying for something interesting and exciting. As it was, it was simply Jennie, ringing to ask what I was wearing and in what way she should do her hair; I rolled my eyes and sighed before telling her to go away and hung up. A few of the customers were watching me at that point and by the looks they were giving me, it seemed they were unimpressed by my behavior.

I began to settle from then on, sinking deep into the novel I had picked up earlier in the evening; I was so interested in each page that I hadn't been watching the clock and the next time I looked it was ten to nine. I threw the book down then and began to run around in the store in such a mad rush; I was supposed to lock up and meet Jennie at nine, yet there I was reading a book. I finished all the chores required before closing up and was heading around to the back of the store to find the spare keys when I noticed a few customers still in the reading lounge.

By the time I had everyone out of the store, tidied, set the alarm and locked up, I was ten minutes late meeting Jennie and Olivia. Thankfully I was only to run across the road to Abbey's; I entered the diner in such a rush and marched straight over to my friends speaking so fast it was a wonder that they could understand me at all.

"I'm so sorry! I got distracted and then I didn't notice the time and then there were people still in the lounge! I mean who stays out in bookstore this late! Anyway I'm really sorry, we still okay to head out?" I rambled on so much that I didn't even notice James standing behind the counter the two girls were sitting at. "Hey…" I smiled awkwardly to him, embarrassed that I just had a mini freak out in front of him.

Jennie and Olivia took one look at me and laughed.

"I told you." Jennie spoke, turning to Olivia who was wiping a few tears from her eyes.

"What?" I looked between them confused. "Awk come on Jen, what did you say?" I continued when neither of them made it clear that they were going to speak. Again they weren't going to answer so I looked to James who simply smiled before turning away to serve someone else.

I was captured, once again, by those beautiful emerald eyes; they were so intriguing, hiding so much yet at the same time, they seemed to tell story that I didn't quite understand. My own eyes travelled, searching him for something that would stop the feelings I had, but nothing could; that cropped mousey hair made me yearn to run my fingers through it and his smile… that smile made my breathing stop and heart rate increase all at the same time, that smile made me want to be happy. My eyes continued to travel down as he turned away and from the short sleeved, polo shirt he wore, slight muscles flexed in his arms.  
I had completely zoned out, it took a slight mental shake and a poke from Jennie to bring myself back. With a sigh and the realization that I was getting a little desperate if I was crushing on my new friends brother, I turned to the girls watching me. "Are you ready to go?"

Olivia drained the last of her cappuccino and smiled, "Yes! Where are we going?"

"Em…?" I turned to Jennie who simply shrugged, "Anywhere I guess!"

Olivia laughed slightly as we began to walk away but quickly turned to say one last thing to her brother, "Hey James, I need a lift later; I'll give you a call when I need you!"

"No! Olivia come on!" James called back at the injustice.

"I won't be late!" Olivia stopped in the middle of the café and begged him with her eyes.

"Ugh, fine! But I'm not your personal chauffer!"

"Thank you!" Olivia grinned and turned to us, "Lets go!"

As we walked down the street, not particularly heading anywhere, I took a glance and noted what Jennie decided to wear in the end; a check blouse and a pair of jeans sounded like a such a simple outfit but on Jennie it seemed like the most amazing thing in the world and styled with her strawberry blonde pixie cut, and the slight make-up framing her hazel-blue eyes, she looked like a runway model. Jennie wouldn't believe you though if you tried to tell her, she was the type of girl who didn't know how beautiful she is, even though she has the confidence as if she does.

We walked through the town, Jennie and I pointing out all of the different places we liked to go, and all of the good clothes stores if you were too lazy to go into the city. After a little while we decided to head to the beach; I had thought it would be a peaceful evening, especially as I lay down on the sand dunes and looked up to the stars, and then Olivia began to pester us with questions. She wanted to know everything and anything, she wanted to know all the gossip on all the other clicks but she also wanted to know about our lives, our families, friendships and break-ups. Olivia persisted as if she _needed _to know everything.

"So… like what do you do in your spare time? No offense but this town doesn't seem like the most exciting!" Olivia spoke honestly, looking between Jennie and I for answers. I turned my head to face her but Jennie had already quickly sat up and begun animatedly telling of her hobbies.

"Well… I don't do an _awful _lot, but enough to keep me busy. I mean, there's boxing on a Monday night then cheerleading everyday, the team hates me though. Then there's always house parties and the bar at the weekends. Also in the summer season we," Jennie paused to indicate that we meant her and I, "come down to the beach all the time and just sun-bathe, the tourist guys are pretty cute to watch during that time!" Jennie winked at me and laughed thinking about the last time we did that… before all the pain.

"You go out _out_, here too?" Olivia exclaimed excitedly.

"Em… elaborate!" Jennie sent a confused look to me but I simply shrugged and returned to the stars.

"Yeno, like, going out to a club, dancing and drinking!"

"Yeah.. but not the drinking… okay maybe at house parties but it's a little hard to look twenty-one in a bar, but yeah there's music and a lot of dancing." Jennie smiled, getting excited that she finally had a partner.

"Do you go too Sarah?"

I didn't get the chance to answer, Jennie did that before I could even shift my gaze, "Not anymore she doesn't

"Jennie we've been through this…" I sighed, turning my head away as I pushed the tears back. "Why don't you go with them?" Olivia asked curiously before Jennie could say anything more.

"I just… it's not my thing anymore."

"But maybe if you just try it again, I mean the music's not _that _bad."

"No!" I realized too late that I answered Olivia more sharply than I meant. "It's just… I can't go back there. Sorry."

There was a silence for a moment, I had turned away once more and was staring at each grain of sand as they slid between my fingers, until Olivia perked up once more and changed the topic again.

"So what do you do Sarah? Jennie boxes, what about you?"

I smiled gratefully to her and silently thanked whomever in my head that Jennie didn't stop her. "Honestly not much, horse-riding on Saturdays and I work all the rest of the time in my dad's store… and I used to be on the school's cross country team but I just don't feel like running anymore." I looked to Jennie who was about to protest that I did more so I laughed and quickly interjected, "And I sunbathe occasionally with Jen!"

The rest of the night past by quietly until Jennie was about to leave to go home, it was then that Olivia decided to chance her arm once again, "So… what if you, Jennie and I all go out tomorrow night to O'Hara's, you never know, you could end up enjoying yourself?"

I looked between her and Jennie and sighed, "Maybe… I'll think about it." In my mind that meant 'no; and Jennie knew it, so unlike Olivia she didn't excite herself.

I didn't arrive home to half ten and even then I didn't get inside to a few minutes later; I had ran the whole way home, along the shore beside the sea, and I was content to jump straight into bed and just sleep. As I opened the kitchen door though, Dean ambushed me with Simon at his side, "What did you say to Annie earlier, you made her cry for goodness sake?"

"Where have you _been_? I need help with English homework and this lazy pig wouldn't help?"

Both of my brothers shouted at me, at the same time and I hadn't even one foot over the threshold.

"Firstly Dean, what sort of a wimp is she? I mean it was a little melodramatic of her to cry! And Simon, why couldn't you have just asked dad? Finally… I haven't one foot in the house! _Now let me in!_" I demanded at last. Simon began to move and I assumed Dean was doing the same, but when I moved forward he shoved me back again,

"Simon couldn't ask Dad because he's at the town committee meeting tonight! And as for earlier, Annie shouldn't have been spoken to like that! Especially by you!" The door slammed in my face as Dean finished speaking and the lock clicked into place.

Simon looked out the window; his big, blue eyes seemed to be full of guilt for doing this to me, so as soon as Dean had walked off I pleaded with him to open the door. I watched as he ran his freakishly big hand, for a small thirteen year old, through his cropped black hair, and then the lock slowly clicked back the other way. Simon didn't waste anytime in leaving after that, probably running to his own bedroom to lock the door and hide.

Dean used to play the protective older brother, but now at seventeen and a half, he _acts_ the dim jock, cool but pretty stupid. He's not though, he has brains to kill but staying close to people like Annie was how he decided would be best to survive high school. Unlike Simon, who is quite happy in middle school being the biggest nerd in the history of forever, or so it seemed in my mind.

My first instinct when I entered the house was to go for the snack cupboard but I ignored the urge, instead gulping down a quick glass of water and heading for the stairs. I dumped my things into my room, thankfully the first door at the top of the stairs, before continuing down the corridor. Simon peaked his head out of his room, the next door down on the left beside mine, and pointed to the lock. I nodded slightly before focusing on the door at the very end of the corridor; Dean's room. Simon knew what was going to happen next, as had happened many times before; this time though I was going to win.

I threw the door open and stood there for a moment; Dean looked up, startled by the sudden interruption, his grey eyes were unfocused for a while switching between the PSP and me, unsure of what was going on."

"What do you want?..." He took a moment to think and then asked a different question, "How'd you get in?"

"I got in by opening the door you doofus." I moved forward so I was within range, "Obviously you can't lock doors properly. But I'm not kidding when I say this; don't ever, and I mean _ever_ refer to me as if I'm a piece of shit on your shoe!" I threw a punch at him there, knocking him hard enough so that he was dazed; although he could and would hit me harder and I risked a lot in that one punch, Jennie had given me a little bit of advice so that I could daze Dean enough so that I had time to run away, once I had even managed to give him a black eye which I was rather proud of at the time. As for Simon, I would never sell him out; even though he was a nerd he was still the most caring little brother anyone could ever ask for.

I ran to my room and locked the door seconds before Dean reached me and began to bang and shout at the door. I left him like that to take a shower and relax, he wasn't getting into the room and before I had finished my shower he had given up. I managed to obtain the bedroom with the only other en-suite, aside from the master bedroom, because I was the only girl in the household, and according to my mother us women needed all the privacy we could get.

Before going to sleep I checked my cell as I plugged it in to the charger, to find that I had five new messages, all of which were from Jennie. I didn't look at one, I was in a happy frame of mind and I didn't want anything to ruin that as I drifted off to sleep. As I lay there it felt as if it were years ago that I woke up to get ready for school, so much had happened in that one day… I should have realized that it was a warning of what the year would be like.


End file.
